Every Little Wonder

One of my dear friends got married last weekend. On TV. After a year-and-half of engagement with no progress made on the wedding planning (sounds familiar…), she and her fiance auditioned to have their wedding planned by a famous couple as part of new reality series. They got accepted, of course, because they are 100% adorable and awesome. And since I was one of the lucky bridesmaids, I got to spend the weekend in LA trying not to puke despite the 9000 cameras surrounding me at all times. Good times!

I had to sign something saying I wouldn’t talk about it or post pictures, and the guy who made me sign also ominously promised me that they had people ‘checking for this sort of thing’…and then he started joking about how I was now signing my life away and agreeing to name my first-born after him (too late, sucker!). At least I think he was joking. Apparently, if you shove a contract under my nose and a camera in my face, I’ll sign whatever you want without really reading the details.

So I have no idea what I’m allowed to say. And yes, I realize that makes this post pretty boring. The wedding was very last minute (planned in about a month—sheesh, things can move so much quicker for famous people!), and I spent the last two weeks in a panicked shopping frenzy because going from Loungey Sweatpants Mom to TV-Ready is 1) really hard, and 2)also impossible. High heels? What? I barely remember what those are. But the wedding was amazing, my bride-friend was gorgeous, I had crazy curly hair and fake eyelashes, and despite the open bar, I managed not to get so drunk that I took my top off. Although my dress was low-cut and cleavagey enough that it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. Hey America, check out my awesome rack! Coming soon to a cable channel reality show near you!

Well, it’s January 4th and I’m finally ready to resurface. Our trip to visit my family in Arizona the week before Christmas led the the somewhat shocking and disorienting discovery that they don’t have internet access. Seriously, there wasn’t even a Starbucks within 20 miles to seek refuge in. Oh, desert. You slay me.

I haven’t seen this half of my family since the baby was a few days old (what? wasn’t that just yesterday?). I loved getting to see my siblings. I miss them like crazy and they’re getting all tall and big like real people. It makes me feel so old. My dad was happy to see his grandson but he was more happy to watch a lot of really awful daytime tv for endless hours with the volume turned up to 11 (more like thirty-something on their tv but…you get the point), so that was that. A little disappointing and depressing, but I didn’t except much more to be honest. Between the stupid tv and the lack of internet and the middle-of-nowhereness, it was the most uneventful trip I’ve ever had. Lots of sitting around, wondering if we would get a chance to do anything besides chase the baby through a very large, very not-babyproofed house with things like stairs and razor blades and old dishes lying everywhere.

The baby handled the flights like a champ. He was a screaming mess in the airport, which scared everyone but also led to us getting the one empty seat on the way there. And then as soon as the engine started, he passed out for over an hour, and then woke up to eat snacks and watch Yo Gabba Gabba on the iphone and then act all cute and charming with the neighbors. Of course, right as the ‘fasten seatbealts’ light came on toward the end, he pooped. Like, major stinky poop. I’m sure the surrounding passengers didn’t love that part.

After we got home, we went to Cris’s family for a late Christmas celebration, then we had our own mini-Christmas the next evening, and then we spent this last weekend at mom’s for the fourth and final Christmas.

And now the holidays are over and I have a To Do list that’s a mile long, about 9,000,000,000 unread items in Reader, and all the things I was planning to have in place by the first are just starting to get worked on. But I’ve also got a Starbucks drink in hand, so let’s do this ish.

I feel beyond useless lately. Like, mentally. Like: Brain? Is mush. Mushy mushy mush. I spend 90000000 hours in front of a computer every day, and I can’t take ten minutes to write something here because the second I start, I get distracted by, I don’t know. Justin Beiber’s hair or looking up prices on airfare to New Zealand or deciding which age-inappropriate bike I want to pretend-buy my 11-month-old son. Or hitting my head against the desk repeatedly because: 11 MONTHS?!

Other means of distraction:

1. making outfits on polyvore
   
   
   tuesday style by everylittlewonder featuring a stripe handbag